Chapter 8
--Fire in the Hole!

There was a big splash, and Zelda standing at the starboard gunwale of the Vallejo Queen had difficulty trying to think of just what she was seeing out there tethered to the ends of two lines being played out from the hands of the boys. Valentina, watched the thing as it drifted gently away from the hull; she gave her friend a nudge. "I see it, but I don't believe it."

Hardly hiding his pride, Alex grinned, coiling the line in his hand. "We put the whole thing together last week."

Taking in some line, Marty came up along the bulwark, the wind messing with the fine, lightly waved texture of his bright blonde hair. "Marvin let us work on it at his slip, right on deck here."

Alex searched their faces. "Looks pretty seaworthy, wouldn't you say?"

Zelda gave one short snorting laugh. "As if!"

Valentina leaned out around Zelda. "You guys really are a study in surrealism, you know?"

Marty slapped a hand on his buddy's shoulder. "Us guys?"

"Really." She flashed a look at Zelda. "I can't believe a thing like that could actually, like, leap into reality from the mind of a fully evolved human."

Alex was shocked. "Hey!" He nodded toward the craft. "Those are totally heavy-duty bungees on that thing, plus the best darn duct-tape money can buy, and this is all, like, modern technology here, finally put by guys like us to serious use; 'cause us guys have moved beyond the old squareness of nuts and bolts and heavy material to the high tech future in stuff like that, so like, don't sell us guys short, ya know?

Marty moved in beside Alex, putting a forearm to his pal's shoulder. "And don't call us 'guys'."

"Right." Alex nodded smugly. "We're like, *men*."

Zelda stared. "Madmen!"

Valentina pointed at the thing. "And you two so-called 'homo sapiens' actually had the nerve to suggest the very idea of inviting a couple of totally upwardly mobile, professional women like us to come with you to South America--on that?"

Marty pulled on his line to turn the thing a bit. "Do you see that shiny sheet of metal going all the way around the bottom and sticking out on both ends?"

Zelda looked. Valentina said, "Yeah. So?"

Alex came beside Zelda at the bulwark. "That's titanium steel, babe; Marty's idea, and it cost a pretty penny."

"I'm not a 'babe'." Zelda narrowed her eyes. "Do you see any diaper rash on me?"

Alex took a look. "Well . . . "

"Uh! So, don't look too hard." She returned her gaze to what was afloat out there. "Titanium steel. And fancy me thinking like, no, it's not a lunar module."

"Let me come through here ya lubbers!" As they somewhat stubbornly moved to step back, Marty passed by, coiling the rope. He stopped the other side of Valentina and nodded toward the craft. "That's our shark protection, that nice shiny sheet under there."

The women traded a jaded look. Zelda spoke to Valentina's ear only. "They still believe the old myth that the sharks are not our friends."

Valentina turned around and folded her arms. "Haven't you two heard the news? Sharks never attack people except by pure accident."

Marty stepped out the better to hear this; Zelda turned to face him. "We now know that sharks are a gentle, endangered species that mean us no harm so long as we do not provoke them, or fail to respect their space."

Valentina leaned back on the bulwark. "Zelda and I have been on numerous shark-feeding dives."

Zelda smiled. "We have fed them by hand."

Valentina turned back to the sea. "So don't tell us about sharks or shark protection."

Zelda snorted. "I suppose you two still believe in the International Communist conspiracy to boot."

The women both laughed just to think of such ignorant prejudice still remaining in the world.

"Hey!" Alex took in a few more turns of his line. "Marty and me can respect that because we are totally for animal rights, shark rights, sucker rights, ant rights, fly rights, any kind of bug you want rights, and hell, you know, even amoeba rights, you name it . . . "

"Plant rights," added Marty.

"Uh!" Valentina stared at them. "Yeah right."

Zelda smirked. "We know all about your concern for the plants."

That really cracked up the women. They laughed so much that they could hardly stand it.

The olive-drab painted duck-boat secured atop its supporting raft of five tractor tire inner-tube pairs, bungee-ed and double bungee-ed, duct-taped mummy-tight by many multiples of turns at every joint, the whole affair with its titanium-steel shield floated freely in the water as it rose and fell on the swells alongside the huge gray flank of the whale, and nothing had changed with that whale since lunch; it remained precisely where it had lain before, and nothing was different about him but for the aluminum ladder that was now leaning up against his massive, barnacle encrusted side.

Zelda, dragging a stick through the sand, observed Alex who stood a few feet away near the large roll of sailcloth thrown down on the beach at his feet; he was studying a little book. She dragged the stick closer to him. "What do you think you're doing now? What's that in your hand, Mr. MacPherd? It looks like a book."

"It's a tide table." He checked his watch. "Looks like in another hour or so, with a little luck, old Rudolf there will be up off the bottom enough to get the harness under him. High tide's coming on."

She looked down and poked her stick at the sailcloth. "But, how can you be fooling around with this, and that raft-thing when you haven't even tried to get the whale moving, yet?"

His eyes remained upon the wind fluttered pages of the little book. "It's a one time only proposition here, Ms Woman Person." He turned to her. "You dig?"

She snorted and made threatening motions with the stick as she walked around him a bit. "Go on. Answer the question."

"Well, if we can tug him out and get him swimming on his own, okay then." He looked at her. "It's a now or never deal right there. Gotta have everything ready to go."

"But what if he won't swim?" She cast her eyes out toward the whale where Marty and Valentina were wading around, checking him out.

Alex returned his attention to the book. "We hope for the best, that's our motto."

"Ew!" She flipped a periwinkle shell off the end of her stick at him. He sidestepped; she came closer. "That's almost as profound as 'Where there's a will, there's a way.'"

"I don't know about that." He looked up at her. "To Marty and me, it's like, okay, you keep your cool, you don't sweat the small stuff, you go for broke and reach for that brass ring."

"Migod." She went to the water's edge and looked over her shoulder. "The man has made a religion of all the dumbest clichés in the book."

The sailcloth harness lay stretched out in the water. By a long rope attached to one end by ring-clip to grommet, Alex drew the harness, wading in front of the whale, and then, bent down, just beyond, he pulled, he shouted: "Give some slack! I got it going under his chin!" Marty responded, bringing his end closer. When Alex was out of sight on the far side Marty shouted, "Toker! Can you see the top of the ladder?"

"Wait!" After a few moments, "Okay! I'm across from it. Let it come under!"

Huddling within the warmth of blankets as they sat in the dingy, Valentina turned to Zelda. "We should be sent to Siberia for not putting a stop to this."

Zelda considered it. "Siberia would be too lenient. For such madness as this, let them strap us in chairs, jam tongue depressors in our mouths, wheel us in front of a TV and turn on the Home Shopping Network."

"For how long?"

"Five minutes, at least."

"Gawd, Zelda." She looked at her friend in horror. "You really can be utterly diabolical, at times."

When the harness was securely bound about the whale with heavy duty bungees hooked into grommets cinching it tight (over rubber pads to prevent wounding of the hide), the three hundred foot long nylon lines for towing--first the whale, then the raft--were tied to the harness; the rope ends were taken to the dingy, along with a short line to tow the raft. Like an over-ripe kumquat, the sun had fallen from the blue foliage of day to the black ground of night over Palo Alto across the bay. Alex handed the raft line to Zelda. As she pulled her hand with the line back under the blanket; she hitched that closer over her shoulder while she kept looking at Alex just shaking her head. He winced. "What's the matter?"

"Why did you drag this darn floating contraption all the way to shore, just to bring it back again?"

"Like I said, Zelda baby . . . " He lifted the red and white Igloo cooler over the gunn'l and set it on the floor. "Everything has to be ready. . . "

"Don't call me 'baby'."

He looked directly at her. He took off his Greenspeak cap and put it back on again with the bill forward. He put a hand to the gunn'l and pointed with the other. "What if Rudolf there had gotten all aggravated or nervous and tried to move on his own while we were climbing around on him? What then, eh?"

"I'm not your 'Zelda Baby'."

Smiling, he climbed aboard "That's all your fault, and none of mine."

She stood up, but lost her balance as Marty shoved off. Fortuitously, she came back down to the seat. Valentina pointed. "You've still got the ladder leaning up on the whale!"

Standing in the stern, Alex took up his oar. "We still got one more thing to do." He set his oar and pushed as together, he and Marty poled through the tules toward the whale. Having come up against the ladder, Alex set down the oar, sat down and lifted a large blue Navy surplus duffle-bag up from under the seat. He reached in, taking out a four foot section of green striped three-inch rubber hose. "What are you doing?" asked Zelda.

"You'll see." Alex removed a black ABS pipe fitting, an elbow.

Valentina craned her neck to see. She saw Alex set the fitting into the hose, she noticed a glitter as he turned it. "Is that aluminum foil in that pipe thing?"

"Must be," said Marty in a nonchalant tone.

Valentina looked at her friend. "What are they doing?"

As the dingy clattered against the ladder, Alex stood, shouldering the bag.

The women stared as he stepped between them. Zelda pulled on his trouser leg. "I demand to know what you are going to do with that thing!"

Stepping to the ladder, Alex turned and looked down. "Come on up and see!"

The two women jumped to their feet. Marty jammed his oar into the mucky bottom. "Hey! Watch it you guys!"

Valentina stepped up to the ladder. Marty followed Zelda, bringing the
dinghy line up with him.

When they were all gathered atop the whale and hunkering down on the canvas harness, Alex removed from the duffle a large clear plastic sack.

"Zounds!" shouted Valentina. "Is that what I think it is?"

Zelda stared. "Agh! My worst fears are confirmed!"

Valentina grabbed for her friend's arm. "Zelda! This is just soooo inappropriate!"

They all froze as a whoosh of sound from the whale's blowhole came just three feet from where they knelt.

Valentina moved back a little. "He could blow any second."

With an eye trained coldly on Alex, and creeping closer on hands and knees, Zelda watched, she saw him stuff an entire handful from the bag into the pipe. Her hands came to his shoulders. "No! I won't let you do it. Stop!"

Alex hunched his shoulders turning away from her. "Hey! Cool it. Unhand me or something. Marty! Get 'er offa me!"

Marty did as requested, gently as possible. "C'mon girl, be cool. This is heap big medicine. Poor old Rudolf, he needs a little joy back in his life, 'cause can't ya see, he has given up his will to live."

Alex stuffed a bit more from the baggy into the bore, looking at her over his shoulder. "Listen to the man, woman! Try and dig what he is saying to you."

Marty took his hands from her shoulders and looked around to her face. "Just towing him out there won't be enough. He'll just lay there, or sink, or float back in here again."

They heard a loud gurgling sound.

Alex looked up. "Oh-oh!" Taking care with what was in his hands, he moved back, as did the others. The whale went off. They covered their heads as Alex hurriedly closed the bag and protected the pipe by stowing it under his arm.

When it was over, everyone was well sprayed. Going on his knees over to the blowhole, Alex knelt and reached into the duffel. The women's eyes widened to see him remove a propane torch.

"This is a blasphemy!" Valentina looked on in horror, to see the flame bursting from the torch nozzle, as Alex clapped his lighter shut.

Zelda jumped as a rushing sound of suction came from the blowhole.

"Here!" Marty handed the dingy line to Valentina and moved in beside Alex who passed him the blazing torch.

Zelda moved closer. "You really had this worked out to a 't', didn't you?" She was just in time to see Alex place the end of the hose down over the blowhole; as with his other hand held the pipe. Marty touched the torch to the load, but Alex waved it off:

"Wait till the inhale starts again, Dude."

"Cool."

Valentina searched the eyes of her friend. "For these two, life spent in a strait-jacket in a padded cell with nothing but . . . 24 hours of Home Shopping Network would be too good for them."

"You kiddin'?" Marty turned to them. "We really get off on that channel."

Both girls snorted at once; there was no more to be said.

Alex looked over his shoulder. "You ever watch it after a few pipes of this?"

"I guess not!" Valentina glanced to Zelda.

"Fire in the hole!" The suction was fierce. Alex held the hose above the hole as Marty torched the bore. They watched amazed as the load burned down to ash before the intake was even over. Marty clapped Alex on the shoulder. "Dude!"

"Oh yeah. Rudolf is going to get off."

"Hurry, Toker! Get another load in there." Alex grinned as he started jamming heaping handfuls of Amador Green into the bore, and so they proceeded to give the whale three entire pipe loads over the next three intakes. While awaiting the fourth with a reloaded pipe, something happened.

"Whoopee!" Marty looked around. "Did you feel that?"

Something was shuddering under them, a vibration moving from the head all the way beneath their knees, bottoms and feet to the flukes of the tail. They stared at one another. "Okay. One more," said Alex. He steadied the pipe.

Valentina clutched herself in her own arms as Zelda stared aghast at the blowhole. They waited. The breath came, The next thing Alex knew, he was tumbling headlong into Zelda. She grabbed hold on him.

"Migod, look!" Valentina pointed. The tail of the whale was raised up high against the stars and the risen moon; it shuddered, then dropped. The sound was thunderous, water went up and out in sheer walls either side; it came showering down, drenching them to the skin.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa-hooooooo!" Marty was beating Alex around the shoulders.

Alex raised his hands to the stars. "Wowweeeeeee!"

"It lives!" shouted Marty as he got up in a crouch and scurried around the blowhole. "It's alive! It lives, Mastah! It lives!"

Screams rent the air as the whale made a sideways lurch to send Marty tumbling to his side. Valentina and Zelda came to their feet. "We got to get out of here."

Alex scooped the gear into the bag as Marty retrieved the dingy line from Valentina. Zelda who had gone ahead gave a shriek. "The ladder's slipped off! It's gone."

Alex came beside Zelda. "Don't worry! I'll get it." He reached into the bag and pulled out a flash lantern. Training it into the water below he could see the ladder, and the dingy which had floated some fifteen feet out from the flank of the whale. "Okay, now you all wait here, while I . . . agh!"

Zelda had given him a push. "Right, MacPherd. We'll all wait right here, on this whale."

Valentina looked down. "He has a real sense of humor that guy."

"Hell," croaked Zelda. "A sense of humor has him, that's all."

By some luck, Alex came down on his feet, managing to hold the lamp up out of the water. "Marty! Pull on the dingy line."

Marty gave it a tug, and it came over with ease. Alex tossed in the bag. When he had found the ladder, he pulled it from the water with one hand and leaned it back up against the whale. He flashed the light up. "Okay! You can come down."

He turned and waded forward along the barnacle-infested side of the whale. He made his way training the light in the water, and took care to step around the flipper; he beamed the light up along the gray flank until it had come just shy of the big blue eye, taking care not to flash it directly. He came closer, then shut off the lamp, letting his eyes become accustomed to the light of the rising moon. He was nearly shocked off his feet to see the huge eye trained directly on him, observing him in every slight movement he made. He came closer and put his hand on the hide of the whale's cheek just beneath.

"Hey Rudolf. What's happenin', Dude?" He was moving his hand over the coarse tufts of hair under the eye when the head lifted, moving toward him; it came into contact, nearly knocking him over by a vertical nuzzling motion. Alex regained his balance "Hey good buddy, need a hug?" Just as he raised both his arms, a sound came from deep within, a medium pitched tone between a moan and a squeal.

"Oooh, man. I know just what you mean, Rudolf, Dude."

"C'mon Toker!"

"Coming!" After one last look at that eye, still watching and shining, he turned to wade back to the dingy.

When Alex was again aboard, he told them all about his close encounter of a humungous kind, as they poled out beyond the reeds. There, Marty took the oars to row the silver-strewn moon-path that lit the way back toward the Vallejo Queen.
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